TUMMYSTICKS

Happy New Year!


My apologies to my loyal fans who actually give a shit about my cycling career - I can't believe I went a month without updating this crappy blog. This winter truly sucks - so much indoor - so little outdoor. As I sit here, we have seven inches of snow outside with more falling. Great sledding, but too much time spent goofing around and not enough time road on the road. Even my commuting is on hiatus.

The riding:

I was able to get out Dec. 31 - so here is the last pic of 2010 (a nice solo ride, about 40 miles) and I was able to get out Jan1 - so here is the first pic of the new year (a really nice ride with Phil and a bunch of ladies of Team Rev)!
The most of the time I have been indoors - hitting Club Fitness or riding the trainer. The cool thing is I have perfected riding the rollers with no hands - now all i have to do is master the rollers while playing Playstation! Tuesday and Saturday at The Hub - some days after school, some days in the basement. The cool thing is I have perfected riding the rollers with no hands - now all i have to do is master the rollers while playing Playstation! I also managed to get out with Isabella to Castlewood to do a little mountain biking - great times.

I am really looking forward to my new bike - Giant TCR Advanced - it is so kick ass and getting some nice track wheels for my track bike. I was just fitted by Greg at The Hub for my new bike. Dave Smith also put together a new travel kit for the Hub travel team. I can't say I am going to be traveling much, but the jersey is pretty bad-ass so I sucked it up and bought one. How cool is this. I hope Dave thinks traveling is the other side of River Des Peres to Tuesday Night Crits! I also finally got my rear Zipp 404 up and running after a year of it sitting idol at The Hub. Now I know why it took so long for me to get the fucking wheel!

Over the month my cycling and party have converged on Ultraman! with Phil and Stephanie - man, did they kick ass. The concerts are rocking this year - up next, I'm thinking Motorhead, Clutch and Valiant Thorr and Borean Dusk, both in Feb. We also had poker night at The Hub - Ron Clipp actually won the night and Devin went out twice - now that is fucked up. And to put a crown on the month - The Hub snow ride. This is one of epics of the year! 7 inches of fresh snow, mountain bikes and bars - what more do you want. We took off at 8:30 - rode around the hood, played no touch and did some snow tricks on some stairs and than headed to "suicide hill" - a super steep hill with some wicked moguls - we showed up on our bikes, people flipped out, a few people said, I'm getting my video camera out for this - and than we rode down. Then to top it off, Devin rode up - That is a Cat 1, Expert class dude! We hit cousin Hugo's for a few pitchers and than headed to Weber's for 8 more! I got home a 2:00, of course woke up the wife, so everytime I started to fall asleep, she hit me with a pillow - pretty funny!!!

Oh yeah - TUMMYSTICKS is where two gay guys lay their dicks on each other's stomachs - now I not to sure how that exactly works - Rock and Dave tried to show us on the snow ride after they took each other down in no touch! - but I still don't get it!

Good people-Good Times-Cold Weather

It has turned very cold - a lot of ice on the roads. Riding in the cold weather sucks. I joined Club Fitness to start my Chris Mileski workout from last year. My goal has been three times a week, but so far, I'm at a regular two. I forgot how much I hate lunges! I've also been pretty irregular on the trainer! I so hate the trainer! I rode outside for the first time in a couple of weeks with Phil, Stephanie, Suzanne, Theresa, and Jamie I stole the photo from Suzanne's facebook because, like a dumbass, I forgot to take a pic while riding.

Since this is the holiday season, good times have still been going on after The Hub Crawl with my fellow cyclists. For the most part, cyclists are great people, many becoming good friends and hanging around them is always a good time. The good times were had at Matthew's 40th Birthday Party at Lleweyln's!!! Not to bash on Matthew - but dammit - one more guy faster than me going into Masters! We had a blast and I was pacing myself just fine until Ron bought the shots! Present was Ron, Andy, Kevin, Dave Smith - and of course Matthew - Happy Birthday Brother.

And Finally - The Hub Christmas Party the second most anticipated day of the cycling year. In attendance - everyone of importance! The Hub of course was out in force - along with Team Rev, Mesa, Big Shark, Gog Fish, Team Segall - truly a party. Ron did get pissed at me when I chucked a piece of cheese across the room and hit him in the head - of all people - lighten up! Santa showed up and Taylor, Kate's husband Mike and Bitch Tits played for the crowd - it was awesome. Overallm, the party was tame - the jello wrestling did not happen and Ron did not bit this year! I got home early - around 3:00 and I woke up at a descent time - vomited a few times and was on the bike to ride by 11:00!

Happy holidays to all who read this crappy blog!
Oh - I did get a special present for myself - but you will have to wait until after Christmas.

My Winter Training so far is BEER!

HUB CRAWL -2010!

The Riding Element:
Winter has hit us good. In one week we went from shorts to freezing. Still continue to commute. This time of year is tough on the commuting - you leave for work and the temp is below freezing and there is frost on the ground (Damn - I should have taken a picture of the first frost) and you leave to go home and it is in the 50's. It's hard to know how to dress. Also, with the turn in temp. it just feels freezing so I dress over warm.

The only big rides I have done is the Hub ride on Saturday. Good times - always fast - don't know why. I am joining Club Fitness this weekend and start my Chris Maleski weight workout - so many Hub guys have joined, its pretty cool. I need to get on a good winter workout so I can start strong in March - after all I will have my new bike!

The Drinking Element:
On a side note - on the night ride we do on Tuesday, soon to be Thursday, we often ride the old Maplewood ride. It is truly one of my favorite routes. Start at the Hub, through Maplewood, up Southwest to Arsenal - to Grand to Russell, through Soulard, up Broadway all the way to Holly Hills. Holly Hills is a really short but super steep two tier hill. It is always a sprint to the top, and a regroup before we head to Carondolet Park and back to Webster by means of the River Des Peres Trail. At the top of Holly Hills, there is a little hole in the wall, South city bar called - The Little Bar. Everytime we go by it, I always say we need to stop. Judy and I went out Saturday night and Phil and Steph went home, but we were in the mood to go out - so... The Little Bar. It was so hoosier, it was a blast. The gal bartending weighed about 200 lbs plus and had a spaghetti top on with her belly hanging out the bottom. Judy ordered a Vodka/Cranberry and she made it so strong, Judy got ploughed!

Many people have asked - what did the Jersey Shore/Shnookie looking chick who flashed her titties at us at Off Broadway really look likethanks to Kevin for the pic!

THE 2010 HUB CRAWL
Bartender at Mexican restaurant, Smith Patrick Rules, LLC, and Ron Clipp Rules!
Well the rain really sucked on this day. We were expecting a huge turn-out, but the weather really sucked - we were under a tornado advisory, sirens and everything. In attendance was - Andy, Ron, Bryan, Devin, Bitch Tits, Matthew, Kevin, Rock, Dave Smith, Mark Gowler, and Eric Dreamweaver. It was a great crew. What a blast it was to shoot the shit with our team. What I like about the Hub is that, at least at the Cat 3-4 level, our team is tight. Even though we are expanding numbers at the Cat 1-2 level, I hope we keep the Cat3-4 level small and tight. This is what makes The Hub an envied team and what makes people want to join us Started out at The Hub with beer - went to the Mexican place in Webster for Margaritas. The bartender gave everyone a complimentary one or two patron shots for Thanksgiving - NICE

From there went to the 61 Roadhouse and beat the rain by one minute. There was a killer band playing oldies - all these fat over fifty chick parting it up and the Tour de France crew (that's what the band called us). We put so many pitchers away, I fucking lost count. It was extreme. If I said 20 pitchers - that would not be an exaggeration. Every time I looked up, my glass was full. We were up dancing with women - having a blast. . Although I don't know what the bar bill was - I sure it was over $300 - but our sponsor Smith Patrick picked up the bill!

From there we went to Llewelyn's. Ron Clipp and The Hub bought the pitchers - but we were close to closing time and they were dicks. What place sells you two pitchers and than bitches at you for not drinking them fast enough - Fuck Llewelyn's. I really miss not getting kicked out of Tower Pub this year. Next year, we will have to double up at Tower Pub until we get arrested.

Pussy Power!

Good week for riding - the weather is just starting to turn - It's almost thanksgiving and I have just taken out the long pants! Gotta love global warming.

Still commuting - even in the cold. Today was the first really cold morning - frost on the ground etc.
Rode both days after work - the first Tuesday , Jeff and I just killed it - we did the Carmen loop and averaged over 18 mph, just the two of us. There was a good headwind going out Clayton and by the time we got to whatever road we turn on to go by Queeny Park, we had a 19.8 average - Shit, it's November! On Thursday, Bryan joined us and once again, no rest for the weary. Yeah, I know - good times.

Finally over the weekend it turned cold! Now, I'm thinking cyclocross. I did Bubba in the Seminary - Man, this was the best course I have ever rode on. It just suited me. Two stairs run-ups, fast flat section, a set of jumps and a really fun single track section - a complete blast! Props to the guys who set up this course. The best was I felt in the mix - which makes for fun racing. My race came down to the final lap (Finally I did not get lapped) and this one guy, we were back and forth the whole race, working hard and passing and dropping a few people. On the third to last lap, I let him stay up front the whole time, keeping right on his wheel, making him work. With two to go I passed him and tried to drop him, but failed - AHHH! Now we're seeing the Pussy Power connection! On the last lap, he passed me on a good move on the hill and when we had to jump the log, I screwed up and lost his wheel. He got a gap on me, and I could not catch him. I tried to get up to him on the final stair run-up and could not and he took me at the line by 10 feet. That's what I like about cross - even if I far from winning, those little battles make you feel part of the action. I do not know how much more cross I will do - but if this is the last, it was a good one to go out on.

Did the night ride on Tuesday - did the old Maplewood ride - had a blast - a beautiful night.On the ride was Andy, Alex, Loren and two other guys.

On Monday night we went to Off Broadway to see Tyler's band: Riley James and the Badmen play. The main act was the dude from MXPX in a band called Tumbledown - they were super good. It was a ripe old Hub party - Andy, Ron, Kevin, Loren, Greg, Devin, Eric, Alex - super fun. I became a surreal night. Besides the militant pussy power lesbians, someone cut themselves from a broken glass so there was a pool of blood on the dance floor - a fat slobbering drunk chick that looked like Snookie from Jersey Shore (Fat and shoved into a skin tight dress) came up to us, hung on me and told all of us to live our lives to the fullest. She got so carried away, she flashed us her tits! By the end of the night, we saw her passed out in a chair in the back of the bar. We had a great time.

The track bike is getting that much closer to completion. I was able to sell some cross tires and this is what I gotI know, it's 3TTT pretty! Now for some 3TTT track bars.
Next Up - The Hub Crawl next Wed - PARTY!

Cycling, Boob grabbing and the One Kid

Man- it has turned cold in the morning! I got to admit I have been quite the pussy when it has come to commuting. My resolve took a blow as the temps dipped into the 30's. It will be turned around next week. Overall, my cycling has sucked this week. I missed out on anything Sunday, missed my Tuesday/Thursday rides, even missed the Sat Hub Ride (It was 27 degrees) - overall - really suck ass.

Although this has nothing to do with cycling - it does involve some good cycling friends. Me, Judy, Phil, and Stephanie went to see Suicidal Tendencies! It was a thrash zone - Boob grabbing concert! Playing was Fuck Off and Die, Death Before Dishonor, HED PE and Suicidal. Although Cyco Mike has aged and the band was one of the largest thrash metal bands I have seen, they were super energetic and played for a solid two hours. We had a great spot, just outside the rim of the thrash pit. When they play I want More - followed up with I shot the Devil - I had to throw down - and yes - I am getting a little old for that shit.

On Thursday I took Isabella to cross practice at Forest Park - Had a wicked good time. Bella was so funny and had a blast. She is a tough little girl - she had one good crash, scrapping her leg - and after a few tears, got right back up and went on. On our last lap, we went up one steep hill, and I got to the top and yelled, without looking back, "if it gets too steep, get off and walk!" Right behind me came a voice - "Dad, I'm right behind you!" Although the crowd was sparse, Matthew and Bryan were out there for The Hub.

On Sunday we took the tandem on Cranksgiving. Cranksgiving is a ride where you cycle from store to store and grab food to donate to the poor...and grab other things Isabella and I rode the tandem and Judy rode her road bike. Bella was a blast on the back of the bike. We did the middle route and altogether rode 20 miles and got a lot of food for people in need. Our group was huge - made up mostly of Team Rev. Overall, it was a good time!
I'm dying to get my track bike put together so I can start riding it during the winter - It looks sooooo cool!

Halloween on Two Wheels

Ah - the taboo costumeIf Buddy saw this he would be like - Oh No you diddin't! No hand-ups at Bottleworks!

Ah - The naughty costume Major cleavage and thigh-high stockings - NICE!

Ah - The honest costumeI can not tell a lie - I really suck at cyclocross!

Rode last Saturday on the Hub ride - saw the return of Ryan Heini - so obviously it was fast.
I have been struggling on this ride as of late and this, coupled with my cross riding has left me a little discouraged - but I felt strong and I was able to keep the pace - getting up front a time or two. I was one of only 6 at the end, which felt good - Avg. 19.6 for October - WTF

On Wednesday, Judy had her Team Rev costume ride - which is always a fan favorite - seeing the Mrs. ride around the Lou in thigh-highs showing the cleavage - what more can one say but NICE! Instead of the ride, I opted to ride with Phil and we put in a really nice 45 miles on a beautiful Oct. night. After the ride, we went back to the Bottleworks for a little libations, food and girl on girl on girl boob-grabbing- NICE!

Raced on Saturday Night in the Boo-ba cross race. I had a blast. It was a fast course with a super hard sand run - I can't tell a lie - it was tough, tough, tough. Obviously I sucked, but it was fun. I "earned" a dollar hand-up! Partied afterwards and until the wee hours of the night! In our race was Bryan and Caleb - on the SS in our race was Greg, Robert and Erik. I will only be doing four races this year with Suson, Queeny and Concordia to go.

Feeling Like Fall

To all my loyal followers - sorry for the hiatus -life is busy.

So far, my cycling seems to be sliding. It seems to be getting faster and I seem to be getting slower. I'm not quite sure why - but I will keep plugging away. The Saturday rides are killing me - and I am not quite sure why. It seems like I tire out so fast. I think I am going to the doctor and have him run some blood work on me - also, a little EPO would be OK too.

You can't beat this shit - Rich Whitney (Green Party) is running for Governor of Illinois.About 5,000 ballots were misprinted in urban Chicago and they read - "Rich Whitey" - Yeah - black people in urban Chicago are going to be voting for Rich Whitey!

Cross has been a blast. Bubba series has started and I am excited. I could not do the first weekend - night cross and the Dawn of Bubba. I was never going to do Sunday's race, but I was all set to race Saturday night - fortunately plans turned and I had a nice date night with my wife - trust me, better than cyclocross! Although I have only raced once, I have enjoyed the practice. Matthew and I have been going Tuesday nights to Steger and Thursday nights to Forest Park. Both Bryan and Chris Miller have joined the cross scene - which is totally cool. The past week and this week I have had to cancel Steger and go to Forest Park on Tuesdays. The courses are so much fun. Aside from commuting, riding with Jeff and The Hub ride on Sat. my cycling has been really consistent.

Last weekend, Judy and I did the Ride the Rivers Century. I was outfitted in a Team Rev Jersey and rode with about 15 women. It was a really easy paced ride and I enjoyed the hell out it. The route was awesome - starting in St. Charles - going through the city to Alton and Grafton and than back. The temp was super hot - 94 degrees for October and the heat beat down my poor red-headed wife - bummer. We made it to mile 75 before we had to call it a day. Although we didn't quite hit the 100 mile mark, I had a blast.

On a final note - the track bike is going great - almost finished. I just got my seatpost from ebay - a smoking deal - a 27.0 Campy Nuevo Record for $40.00. Can't wait to have it completed.